Top 5 Candies Of All Time
I love all candy. Calling any of it "gross" or "disgusting" is absurd—there's only a spectrum of greatness. That said, I'm firmly Team Fruity over Team Chocolate (sorry, White Sox Dave, you're right: they're different beasts). Without further ado, here's my definitive top 5, ranked by sheer joy per bite.
1. Sour Patch Kids / Sour Patch Watermelon
I'm cheating a bit by bundling these, but they're essentially the same genius in different packaging. Sour Patch Kids edge out solo for #1 thanks to their flavor variety—lime, lemon, orange, and that rogue red one keep things exciting. Watermelon might be the single best flavor (pure summer in a bite), but switching it up is candy's secret sauce. If you're a purist, call this a tie for 1st and 2nd. Either way, these are the undisputed GOAT.
2. Starburst
The ultimate fruity chew. The original pack is iconic—pink reigns supreme, but cherry, orange, and lemon are no slouches. I'm keeping it general here, but shoutout to the all-red "FaveREDs" bag and tropical mixes (mango and piña colada? Chef's kiss). Juicy, chewy, and endlessly re-chewable. If variety is the spice of life, Starburst is the whole pantry.
3. Twix
My chocolate gateway drug and the best non-fruity bar ever. That trifecta—crunchy shortbread cookie, gooey caramel, silky milk chocolate—is perfection. Every bite layers textures: snap, chew, melt. The shortbread is criminally underrated; it's not flashy like chocolate chip, but it deserves a standing ovation as a dessert MVP. Left or right Twix? Doesn't matter—both are elite.
4. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
I wasn't always a believer. Growing up, peanut butter was meh (fine, but I'd survive its extinction), and sweet-salty combos felt like a betrayal of pure sugar bliss. Give me straight fruity or plain Hershey's any day. But age brings wisdom: the creamy PB now elevates the chocolate without overpowering it. It's grown on me like a fine wine—comfortably locked in at #4, and yeah, I get why some would riot if it weren't higher.
5. Kit Kat
Simple, reliable, unbreakable. Crispy wafers layered in chocolate—nothing fancy, but it always delivers. The Halloween minis are peak form (poppable perfection), though snapping off a chunk from a full bar to share with a friend hits different. It's the candy I reach for most often, edging out flashier contenders for consistent craveability.
Honorable Mentions (The Ones That Got Away)
Snickers: A classic for the masses, but the nuts and nougat add too much "meal" vibe for my pure-sweet tooth. Solid, just not top-5 material.
Heath Bar: Underrated gem—toffee crunch in chocolate beats Snickers any day. I don't crave it enough for the list, but respect where it's due.
Dots: Movie theater royalty. Sticky, fruity, and impossible to stop at one. 9/10 theater runs, they're my pick—no debate.
There you have it: my candy hierarchy, forged from decades of snacking. What's your top 5? Fight me in the comments (but know I'll defend Sour Patch supremacy with my last breath).